My dear Srila Prabhupada,
Please accept my prostrated obeisances at your lotus feet. All glories toYour Divine Grace. All glories to your causeless mercy.
We have gathered at your lotus feet to glorify you on your appearance day.Today I thought to read a verse from Srimad-Bhagavatam that describesKrsna's mercy, as bestowed in particular upon the demoness Putana. The verseis appropriate because it glorifies the quality of mercifulness, which wasso prominent in you, and it suggests to what extent you were willing to givemercy. Even to a demoness who came to administer poison to Him and kill Him,Krsna bestowed His supreme mercy. In a similar mood, you bestowed your mercyupon people who were lowly and fallen, and you were unreserved in bestowingit upon them.
The verse is from Srimad-Bhagavatam, Canto Three, Chapter Two: "Remembranceof Lord Krsna."
aho baki yam stana-kala-kutam jighamsayapayayad apy asadhvilebhe gatim dhatry-ucitam tato 'nyam kam va dayalum saranam vrajema
"Alas, how shall I take shelter of one more merciful than He who granted theposition of mother to a she-demon [Putana] although she was unfaithful andshe prepared deadly poison to be sucked from her breast?" (SB 3.2.23)
In your purport you write:
"Here is an example of the extreme mercy of the Lord, even to His enemy. Itis said that a noble man accepts the good qualities of a person of doubtfulcharacter, just as one accepts nectar from a stock of poison. In Hisbabyhood [Krsna] was administered deadly poison by Putana, a she-demon whotried to kill the wonderful baby. And because she was a demon, it wasimpossible for her to know that the Supreme Lord, even though playing thepart of a baby, was no one less than the same Supreme Personality ofGodhead. His value as the Supreme Lord did not diminish upon His becoming ababy to please His devotee Yasoda. The Lord may assume the form of a baby ora shape other than that of a human being, but it doesn't make the slightestdifference; He is always the same Supreme. A living creature, howeverpowerful he may become by dint of severe penance, can never become equal tothe Supreme Lord."
Srila Prabhupada, you always glorified Krsna as the Supreme Personality ofGodhead, and you instructed everyone to take shelter of Krsna. Many peoplewho came in touch with you were struck by this fact. George Harrison, forexample, said that so many svamis and gurus tell their followers tosurrender to them but that you, Srila Prabhupada, always said, "Krsna is theSupreme Personality of Godhead; one should surrender to Him."
Once, a new devotee approached you and said, "Srila Prabhupada, I can trustyou; I can surrender to you. But I can't trust your representatives. I can'tsurrender to them, because I fear they may cheat me." And you replied,"Don't surrender to me either. I may also cheat you. Surrender to Krsna."
Your purport concludes:
"Lord Krsna accepted the motherhood of Putana because she pretended to be anaffectionate mother, allowing Krsna to suck her breast. The Lord accepts theleast qualification of the living entity and awards him the highest reward.That is the standard of His character. Therefore, who but the Lord can bethe ultimate shelter?"
Srila Prabhupada,
As aspiring devotees, we still have qualities in common with Putana, and sowe too are in need of extreme mercy from the Lord--and from Your DivineGrace.
One quality mentioned in the verse is jighamsaya--she acted out of envy. Weare in the material world out of envy of Krsna. We don't want to accept Himas the supreme enjoyer; we want to enjoy independent of Him. We are enviousof Him, and it is actually envy that keeps us in the material world. Onlyone who is completely liberated and pure can be free from envy. SrinivasaAcarya glorifies the Six Gosvamis of Vrndavana, dhiradhira-jana-priyau: Theyare dear to both the gentle and the ruffians. They are pleasing to everyonebecause they are not envious of anyone (nirmatsarau), and thus they areworshipable (pujitau). You explained that one who is nonenvious isworshipable because one can be nonenvious only if he is a pure devotee. Ournatural position is to serve Krsna (jivera 'svarupa' haya--krsnera'nitya-dasa'); if we act as anything other than an eternal servant of Krsna,it means that we have not fully realized our actual position and that ouroriginal envy of Krsna, which brought us into the material world, is still,to some degree, lingering.
After starting your mission in New York and San Francisco, you suffered astroke, and after all efforts to recover in America had failed, you decidedto return to India to recoup your health. Before your departure, you visitedthe San Francisco temple. No one had expected you, in your condition, tospeak, but you asked for the microphone. You spoke about your mission, howunder the order of your spiritual master you had brought Lord Caitanya'smovement to America and how Krsna had kindly sent so many sincere souls. Youtold the devotees, "I have a few children in India from my family days, butyou are my real children. Now I am going to India for a little while."
One of your early disciples from San Francisco suddenly entered the room.The devotees knew that he wanted to leave Krsna consciousness, that hehadn't taken his initiation vows seriously, and that he wanted to moveon--he didn't want a spiritual master any more. The other devotees had triedto discourage him, but he had persisted. Now they were incredulous: howcould he do such a thing on the night before your departure?
The devotee, Ravindra-svarupa, fell to the floor to offer obeisances, but hedidn't rise up. Instead, he began crawling on his hands and knees towardyou. This dramatic encounter is vividly described in SrilaPrabhupada-lilamrta: "Ravindra usually had a cavalier manner, enhanced by ahandsome face, long tousled hair, and a beard. But now he was wretched andsobbing and crazy. He crawled towards Prabhupada, who sat but two steps offthe floor on the simple redwood dais. Prabhupada looked at him withcompassion: 'Come here, my boy.' Ravindra crawled up the steps and placedhis bushy head on Prabhupada's lap. Moved, the devotees watched asPrabhupada stroked Ravindra's head and the boy cried and cried.
"'What's wrong, my son? You don't have to be so unhappy.'
"Ravindra bawled out, 'I want . . . ,' he sobbed, 'aah . . . to . . . aah .. . reach God directly! Without anyone in between!'
"Prabhupada continued to pat and stroke the boy's head: 'No, you continue tostay with us if possible. Don't be a crazy fellow.' Ravindra's weepingsubsided, and Prabhupada continued, speaking both to Ravindra and to theemotion-struck group in the room. 'I am an old man,' he said. 'I may die atany moment. But please, you all carry on this sankirtana movement. You haveto become humble and tolerant. As Lord Caitanya says, be as humble as ablade of grass and more tolerant than a tree. You must have enthusiasm andpatience to push on this Krsna conscious philosophy.'
"Suddenly Ravindra's tears were gone. He jumped up, dejectedly stood,hesitating for a moment, and then hurried out the door, banging it behindhim.
"Ravindra-svarupa's dramatic exit from Krsna consciousness shocked thedevotees. Prabhupada sat still and continued speaking to them gravely,asking them to stick together and push on the movement, for their ownbenefit and for others. Whatever they had learned, he said, they shouldrepeat.
"They realized, perhaps for the first time, that they were part of apreaching mission, a movement. They . . . had a loving obligation to Swamijiand Krsna."
Although Ravindra-svarupa's exhibition may have been extreme, in principlehe is no different from many of us. We also don't want anyone between us andKrsna. We don't want to surrender; we want to be Krsna. But by your mercy wehave been engaged in devotional service and are undertaking the process ofpurification--chanting the holy names, hearing Srimad-Bhagavatam,associating with devotees, worshiping the Deity, and as far as possibleresiding in Mathura, Vrndavana, Mayapur, or any temple of Gaura-Nitai orRadha-Krsna.
Putana was asadhvi, unfaithful. And she pretended to be something that shewas not. She was actually a demon, but by her mystic powers she presentedherself as a very beautiful woman. Of course, it is not entirely wrong topresent oneself as something that one is not. Sometimes, for social reasons,we must, but internally we should remain faithful. The problem is thatinternally sometimes we become unfaithful (asadhvi). We want tosurrender--we decide to surrender--but then we take back our surrender. Ithappens all the time. We surrender--decide to surrender--and then withdrawour surrender. We are not sure whether we should surrender. We are not surewhether the process will work, whether we will get the result. We are notsure whether we will be successful in our attempt. We are not sure whetherKrsna will take care of us. We are not sure our desires will be fulfilled.
Ultimately, it comes to faith (sraddha), upon which all progress depends.
'sraddha'-sabde--visvasa kahe sudrdha niscayakrsne bhakti kaile sarva-karma krta haya
"Sraddha is confident, firm faith that by rendering transcendental lovingservice to Krsna one automatically performs all subsidiary activities. Suchfaith is favorable to the discharge of devotional service." (Cc Madhya22.62)
Even in your presence devotees did not always understand you. Most of thepeople who joined you were young, in their late teens or early twenties, andit was years before any of them left his or her body. The first I recall wasJaya Gopala dasa, who lost his life in an automobile accident. His youngwife was distraught, and you assured her that Jaya Gopala had gone back toGodhead and that she would join him. One of my godbrothers commented thatyou had said that just to encourage her.
Then I came across a book called His Divine Grace by Danavir Goswami.Looking through it, I saw a photo of Jaya Gopala, with the caption: "SrilaPrabhupada stated that Jaya Gopala was not ready to go back to Godhead butthat Krsna made an exception and took him back anyway." That is causelessmercy--your mercy. Krsna has no interest in anything of the material world.He is interested only in devotees. And it is only because of the mercy of adevotee that Krsna takes interest in someone who is not yet truly a devotee.Why else would Krsna make an exception for us--other than your mercy?Otherwise, who is Jaya Gopala dasa--or any of us--to Krsna? It is because ofour connection with you that we have any standing in Krsna's eyes.
Of course, as you always told us, Krsna is the Supersoul. He is in the heartof every living entity as the witness and overseer. And He loves the livingentities and accompanies them wherever they go. But He is neutral. He letsthem act to fulfill their desires. He doesn't interfere. However, when adevotee intervenes, Krsna takes special interest. One who has received adevotee's mercy gets Krsna's mercy, and that is true for all of us, yourfollowers, now. Otherwise, why should we be engaged in devotional service?We are just conditioned souls who have come into the material world toenjoy, in imitation of Krsna. Why should we even be in your temple? We arehere by your mercy, and thus we are making the effort to purify our hearts,hearing Srimad-Bhagavatam and chanting the holy names, and become truedevotees.
Satsvarupa dasa Gosvami told me a nice story--a thought or realization thathe had had. It relates to your mercy and leads to the conclusion kam vadayalum saranam vrajema: "How shall I take shelter of one more merciful?" Inother words, "You are so merciful; how can I find anyone more merciful? Howcan I take shelter of anyone else?"
Sometimes it happens that your followers meet saintly persons outside ofISKCON. One year, Satsvarupa Maharaja went to Jagannatha Puri, during theholy month of Purusottama, to spend some time with one such sadhu. But whilethere, Satsvarupa Maharaja felt uncomfortable; he didn't feel at home inthat association. He felt that you created ISKCON to be his home and that hecould feel at home only in ISKCON--nowhere else.
Then he went a step further. He imagined a time when he would leave his bodyand come to the precincts of Krsnaloka and the gatekeeper would ask him,"Who are you?" He suddenly became fearful, thinking that he was taking agamble by turning himself into a siksa disciple of that sadhu rather thanremaining an exclusive disciple of Your Divine Grace. He wasn't sure exactlywhat his relationship with that sadhu was or what that sadhu might say toKrsna on his behalf.
Then he imagined a different sequence. In this one, when the gatekeeperasked, "Who are you?" he would reply, "I am Satsvarupa dasa, a disciple ofHis Divine Grace A. C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada." He imagined thegatekeeper going to you and asking, "Satsvarupa has come to the gate--Whatshould we do?" And he imagined that you would say, "Satsvarupa? MySatsvarupa? Call him immediately."
To me, this provides a striking picture of you and your mercy, and it servesto answer the rhetorical question "How shall I take shelter of one moremerciful than he?" For us, there is no one more merciful. There is no needto take shelter of anyone else, and there will be no gain if we leave you totake shelter of anyone else.
Two years ago I had the good fortune to meet your disciple Narayani dasiagain. I hadn't seen her for many years, and then, at a japa workshop inHouston, I met her again.
During the workshop a devotee asked her, "Sastra says that if you chant amantra knowing its meaning you get more benefit than by reciting it withoutknowing its meaning. So, what is the meaning of the Hare Krsna maha-mantra?"She replied that the mantra is a prayer, "O Krsna, O Radharani, pleaseengage me in Your service. O Lord, O energy of the Lord, please engage me inYour service." A little later someone else asked the same question.Obviously they were looking for more. And she gave the same answer. Shesaid, "I know that there are other explanations of the meaning, but this isthe meaning that Srila Prabhupada gave, and I'm satisfied with it. I don'tfeel any need to pursue the matter further."
After the last session of the workshop I asked her about that question andher response--"Did you give that answer because it was a general audienceand you wanted to stay within Srila Prabhupada's direct instructions? Was itbecause of the circumstances that you gave that answer?" She said, "No, it'sbecause of me." She said that sometimes as a teacher at the VIHE she isexpected to speak from the commentaries of previous acaryas, on theBhagavad-gita or Srimad-Bhagavatam, but that if she sees a differencebetween what a previous acarya says and what you say, she can't present whatthe previous acarya says. She told me, "It's not because of thecircumstances or the audience--it's because of me." I asked, "Why do youwant to repeat only what Srila Prabhupada said, not what any other acaryahas said?" And she replied, "Because Srila Prabhupada is more merciful."
Then she told a story that she had heard. You were giving a talk in whichyou said that in order to go back home, back to Godhead, one must be centpercent pure, cent percent free of material desires and attachments. Whenyou saw that the devotees were discouraged, you said, "All right, 90%."Still they were dejected. Then you said, "All right, 80%." Still they werecrestfallen. Then you said, "All right, 75%--but not less."
After the talk, you commented, "If you just hold on to my lotus feet, I willtake you back to Godhead. I have the key to the back door."
Mother Narayani continued, "Actually, my only qualification to speak or todo anything is my faith in Srila Prabhupada. I feel that we are not soqualified to go in the front door, so our only hope is to strictly followSrila Prabhupada, because he can recommend us to Srimati Radharani and LordKrsna and open the door for us to enter the spiritual world."
We, your followers, have already received your mercy, and we are in aposition to receive even more. We just have to follow your instructions.Once, I heard that you had said, "Your qualification is that I give aninstruction . . ." I thought the rest of the sentence would be "and youfollow it," but the statement was "Your qualification is that I give you aninstruction and you try to follow it." Not even that we follow it--just thatwe try to follow it.
(Of course, we must try sincerely and seriously, by all means, with all ofour energy and resources, to follow.)
In our japa retreats we emphasize chanting with attention, without offense.We encourage devotees to pronounce each syllable distinctly and hear eachsyllable attentively. To chant inattentively is an offense. So, I thought ofmy initiation letter--you sent it to me in Boston from Los Angeles--in whichyou instructed me to avoid the ten offenses. And I thought, "Oh, my God,that was practically the first instruction I got from Srila Prabhupada--theone I got when I was initiated--and now, forty years later, I still haven'tbeen able to follow it, which is another offense: to disobey the orders ofthe spiritual master." So I thought, "I am just drowning in offenses." Andthen I thought, "I better reread that letter, to try to get some strengthand inspiration." I reread it, and there was the instruction: "You shouldavoid the ten offenses as far as possible." You were so merciful--you knewthat I couldn't avoid them completely. So you saved me from the offense ofdisobeying your order, by writing "as far as possible."
So that is our qualification, according to you. And that is our hope. If wesincerely try to follow your instructions strictly--if we just hold on toyour lotus feet--you will do the rest. You will take us back home, back toGodhead.
And then? As you wrote, "We will have another ISKCON in the spiritual sky."And what will we do there? We will engage in the same activities that yougave us here--chanting, dancing, feasting, and discussion of Krsna. As yousaid, "The aim of this Krsna consciousness movement is to enable us toapproach Radha-Krsna and associate with the Supreme Lord in His sublimepleasure dance . . . to enter into the dancing party of Radha-Krsna." And ifwe are not completely successful in the present lifetime? You wrote, "It istrue that the spiritual master remains in the material universe until all ofhis disciples are transferred to the spiritual sky. . . . Therefore, everystudent should be very much careful not to commit any offense that will bedetrimental to this promotion to the spiritual kingdom, and thereby thespiritual master has to incarnate again to deliver him. This sort ofmentality will be a kind of offense to the spiritual master. Out of the tenkinds of offenses, the number-one offense is to disobey the orders of thespiritual master. The instructions given to the disciple by the spiritualmaster at the time of initiation should be strictly followed. That will makeone advance to the spiritual path."
Srila Prabhupada, I do not want you to have to come back to deliver me, orany of us. I will try my best to follow your instructions, withoutoffense--and depend on your causeless mercy.
Hare Krsna.
Your fallen, eternal servant,Giriraj Swami
Please accept my prostrated obeisances at your lotus feet. All glories toYour Divine Grace. All glories to your causeless mercy.
We have gathered at your lotus feet to glorify you on your appearance day.Today I thought to read a verse from Srimad-Bhagavatam that describesKrsna's mercy, as bestowed in particular upon the demoness Putana. The verseis appropriate because it glorifies the quality of mercifulness, which wasso prominent in you, and it suggests to what extent you were willing to givemercy. Even to a demoness who came to administer poison to Him and kill Him,Krsna bestowed His supreme mercy. In a similar mood, you bestowed your mercyupon people who were lowly and fallen, and you were unreserved in bestowingit upon them.
The verse is from Srimad-Bhagavatam, Canto Three, Chapter Two: "Remembranceof Lord Krsna."
aho baki yam stana-kala-kutam jighamsayapayayad apy asadhvilebhe gatim dhatry-ucitam tato 'nyam kam va dayalum saranam vrajema
"Alas, how shall I take shelter of one more merciful than He who granted theposition of mother to a she-demon [Putana] although she was unfaithful andshe prepared deadly poison to be sucked from her breast?" (SB 3.2.23)
In your purport you write:
"Here is an example of the extreme mercy of the Lord, even to His enemy. Itis said that a noble man accepts the good qualities of a person of doubtfulcharacter, just as one accepts nectar from a stock of poison. In Hisbabyhood [Krsna] was administered deadly poison by Putana, a she-demon whotried to kill the wonderful baby. And because she was a demon, it wasimpossible for her to know that the Supreme Lord, even though playing thepart of a baby, was no one less than the same Supreme Personality ofGodhead. His value as the Supreme Lord did not diminish upon His becoming ababy to please His devotee Yasoda. The Lord may assume the form of a baby ora shape other than that of a human being, but it doesn't make the slightestdifference; He is always the same Supreme. A living creature, howeverpowerful he may become by dint of severe penance, can never become equal tothe Supreme Lord."
Srila Prabhupada, you always glorified Krsna as the Supreme Personality ofGodhead, and you instructed everyone to take shelter of Krsna. Many peoplewho came in touch with you were struck by this fact. George Harrison, forexample, said that so many svamis and gurus tell their followers tosurrender to them but that you, Srila Prabhupada, always said, "Krsna is theSupreme Personality of Godhead; one should surrender to Him."
Once, a new devotee approached you and said, "Srila Prabhupada, I can trustyou; I can surrender to you. But I can't trust your representatives. I can'tsurrender to them, because I fear they may cheat me." And you replied,"Don't surrender to me either. I may also cheat you. Surrender to Krsna."
Your purport concludes:
"Lord Krsna accepted the motherhood of Putana because she pretended to be anaffectionate mother, allowing Krsna to suck her breast. The Lord accepts theleast qualification of the living entity and awards him the highest reward.That is the standard of His character. Therefore, who but the Lord can bethe ultimate shelter?"
Srila Prabhupada,
As aspiring devotees, we still have qualities in common with Putana, and sowe too are in need of extreme mercy from the Lord--and from Your DivineGrace.
One quality mentioned in the verse is jighamsaya--she acted out of envy. Weare in the material world out of envy of Krsna. We don't want to accept Himas the supreme enjoyer; we want to enjoy independent of Him. We are enviousof Him, and it is actually envy that keeps us in the material world. Onlyone who is completely liberated and pure can be free from envy. SrinivasaAcarya glorifies the Six Gosvamis of Vrndavana, dhiradhira-jana-priyau: Theyare dear to both the gentle and the ruffians. They are pleasing to everyonebecause they are not envious of anyone (nirmatsarau), and thus they areworshipable (pujitau). You explained that one who is nonenvious isworshipable because one can be nonenvious only if he is a pure devotee. Ournatural position is to serve Krsna (jivera 'svarupa' haya--krsnera'nitya-dasa'); if we act as anything other than an eternal servant of Krsna,it means that we have not fully realized our actual position and that ouroriginal envy of Krsna, which brought us into the material world, is still,to some degree, lingering.
After starting your mission in New York and San Francisco, you suffered astroke, and after all efforts to recover in America had failed, you decidedto return to India to recoup your health. Before your departure, you visitedthe San Francisco temple. No one had expected you, in your condition, tospeak, but you asked for the microphone. You spoke about your mission, howunder the order of your spiritual master you had brought Lord Caitanya'smovement to America and how Krsna had kindly sent so many sincere souls. Youtold the devotees, "I have a few children in India from my family days, butyou are my real children. Now I am going to India for a little while."
One of your early disciples from San Francisco suddenly entered the room.The devotees knew that he wanted to leave Krsna consciousness, that hehadn't taken his initiation vows seriously, and that he wanted to moveon--he didn't want a spiritual master any more. The other devotees had triedto discourage him, but he had persisted. Now they were incredulous: howcould he do such a thing on the night before your departure?
The devotee, Ravindra-svarupa, fell to the floor to offer obeisances, but hedidn't rise up. Instead, he began crawling on his hands and knees towardyou. This dramatic encounter is vividly described in SrilaPrabhupada-lilamrta: "Ravindra usually had a cavalier manner, enhanced by ahandsome face, long tousled hair, and a beard. But now he was wretched andsobbing and crazy. He crawled towards Prabhupada, who sat but two steps offthe floor on the simple redwood dais. Prabhupada looked at him withcompassion: 'Come here, my boy.' Ravindra crawled up the steps and placedhis bushy head on Prabhupada's lap. Moved, the devotees watched asPrabhupada stroked Ravindra's head and the boy cried and cried.
"'What's wrong, my son? You don't have to be so unhappy.'
"Ravindra bawled out, 'I want . . . ,' he sobbed, 'aah . . . to . . . aah .. . reach God directly! Without anyone in between!'
"Prabhupada continued to pat and stroke the boy's head: 'No, you continue tostay with us if possible. Don't be a crazy fellow.' Ravindra's weepingsubsided, and Prabhupada continued, speaking both to Ravindra and to theemotion-struck group in the room. 'I am an old man,' he said. 'I may die atany moment. But please, you all carry on this sankirtana movement. You haveto become humble and tolerant. As Lord Caitanya says, be as humble as ablade of grass and more tolerant than a tree. You must have enthusiasm andpatience to push on this Krsna conscious philosophy.'
"Suddenly Ravindra's tears were gone. He jumped up, dejectedly stood,hesitating for a moment, and then hurried out the door, banging it behindhim.
"Ravindra-svarupa's dramatic exit from Krsna consciousness shocked thedevotees. Prabhupada sat still and continued speaking to them gravely,asking them to stick together and push on the movement, for their ownbenefit and for others. Whatever they had learned, he said, they shouldrepeat.
"They realized, perhaps for the first time, that they were part of apreaching mission, a movement. They . . . had a loving obligation to Swamijiand Krsna."
Although Ravindra-svarupa's exhibition may have been extreme, in principlehe is no different from many of us. We also don't want anyone between us andKrsna. We don't want to surrender; we want to be Krsna. But by your mercy wehave been engaged in devotional service and are undertaking the process ofpurification--chanting the holy names, hearing Srimad-Bhagavatam,associating with devotees, worshiping the Deity, and as far as possibleresiding in Mathura, Vrndavana, Mayapur, or any temple of Gaura-Nitai orRadha-Krsna.
Putana was asadhvi, unfaithful. And she pretended to be something that shewas not. She was actually a demon, but by her mystic powers she presentedherself as a very beautiful woman. Of course, it is not entirely wrong topresent oneself as something that one is not. Sometimes, for social reasons,we must, but internally we should remain faithful. The problem is thatinternally sometimes we become unfaithful (asadhvi). We want tosurrender--we decide to surrender--but then we take back our surrender. Ithappens all the time. We surrender--decide to surrender--and then withdrawour surrender. We are not sure whether we should surrender. We are not surewhether the process will work, whether we will get the result. We are notsure whether we will be successful in our attempt. We are not sure whetherKrsna will take care of us. We are not sure our desires will be fulfilled.
Ultimately, it comes to faith (sraddha), upon which all progress depends.
'sraddha'-sabde--visvasa kahe sudrdha niscayakrsne bhakti kaile sarva-karma krta haya
"Sraddha is confident, firm faith that by rendering transcendental lovingservice to Krsna one automatically performs all subsidiary activities. Suchfaith is favorable to the discharge of devotional service." (Cc Madhya22.62)
Even in your presence devotees did not always understand you. Most of thepeople who joined you were young, in their late teens or early twenties, andit was years before any of them left his or her body. The first I recall wasJaya Gopala dasa, who lost his life in an automobile accident. His youngwife was distraught, and you assured her that Jaya Gopala had gone back toGodhead and that she would join him. One of my godbrothers commented thatyou had said that just to encourage her.
Then I came across a book called His Divine Grace by Danavir Goswami.Looking through it, I saw a photo of Jaya Gopala, with the caption: "SrilaPrabhupada stated that Jaya Gopala was not ready to go back to Godhead butthat Krsna made an exception and took him back anyway." That is causelessmercy--your mercy. Krsna has no interest in anything of the material world.He is interested only in devotees. And it is only because of the mercy of adevotee that Krsna takes interest in someone who is not yet truly a devotee.Why else would Krsna make an exception for us--other than your mercy?Otherwise, who is Jaya Gopala dasa--or any of us--to Krsna? It is because ofour connection with you that we have any standing in Krsna's eyes.
Of course, as you always told us, Krsna is the Supersoul. He is in the heartof every living entity as the witness and overseer. And He loves the livingentities and accompanies them wherever they go. But He is neutral. He letsthem act to fulfill their desires. He doesn't interfere. However, when adevotee intervenes, Krsna takes special interest. One who has received adevotee's mercy gets Krsna's mercy, and that is true for all of us, yourfollowers, now. Otherwise, why should we be engaged in devotional service?We are just conditioned souls who have come into the material world toenjoy, in imitation of Krsna. Why should we even be in your temple? We arehere by your mercy, and thus we are making the effort to purify our hearts,hearing Srimad-Bhagavatam and chanting the holy names, and become truedevotees.
Satsvarupa dasa Gosvami told me a nice story--a thought or realization thathe had had. It relates to your mercy and leads to the conclusion kam vadayalum saranam vrajema: "How shall I take shelter of one more merciful?" Inother words, "You are so merciful; how can I find anyone more merciful? Howcan I take shelter of anyone else?"
Sometimes it happens that your followers meet saintly persons outside ofISKCON. One year, Satsvarupa Maharaja went to Jagannatha Puri, during theholy month of Purusottama, to spend some time with one such sadhu. But whilethere, Satsvarupa Maharaja felt uncomfortable; he didn't feel at home inthat association. He felt that you created ISKCON to be his home and that hecould feel at home only in ISKCON--nowhere else.
Then he went a step further. He imagined a time when he would leave his bodyand come to the precincts of Krsnaloka and the gatekeeper would ask him,"Who are you?" He suddenly became fearful, thinking that he was taking agamble by turning himself into a siksa disciple of that sadhu rather thanremaining an exclusive disciple of Your Divine Grace. He wasn't sure exactlywhat his relationship with that sadhu was or what that sadhu might say toKrsna on his behalf.
Then he imagined a different sequence. In this one, when the gatekeeperasked, "Who are you?" he would reply, "I am Satsvarupa dasa, a disciple ofHis Divine Grace A. C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada." He imagined thegatekeeper going to you and asking, "Satsvarupa has come to the gate--Whatshould we do?" And he imagined that you would say, "Satsvarupa? MySatsvarupa? Call him immediately."
To me, this provides a striking picture of you and your mercy, and it servesto answer the rhetorical question "How shall I take shelter of one moremerciful than he?" For us, there is no one more merciful. There is no needto take shelter of anyone else, and there will be no gain if we leave you totake shelter of anyone else.
Two years ago I had the good fortune to meet your disciple Narayani dasiagain. I hadn't seen her for many years, and then, at a japa workshop inHouston, I met her again.
During the workshop a devotee asked her, "Sastra says that if you chant amantra knowing its meaning you get more benefit than by reciting it withoutknowing its meaning. So, what is the meaning of the Hare Krsna maha-mantra?"She replied that the mantra is a prayer, "O Krsna, O Radharani, pleaseengage me in Your service. O Lord, O energy of the Lord, please engage me inYour service." A little later someone else asked the same question.Obviously they were looking for more. And she gave the same answer. Shesaid, "I know that there are other explanations of the meaning, but this isthe meaning that Srila Prabhupada gave, and I'm satisfied with it. I don'tfeel any need to pursue the matter further."
After the last session of the workshop I asked her about that question andher response--"Did you give that answer because it was a general audienceand you wanted to stay within Srila Prabhupada's direct instructions? Was itbecause of the circumstances that you gave that answer?" She said, "No, it'sbecause of me." She said that sometimes as a teacher at the VIHE she isexpected to speak from the commentaries of previous acaryas, on theBhagavad-gita or Srimad-Bhagavatam, but that if she sees a differencebetween what a previous acarya says and what you say, she can't present whatthe previous acarya says. She told me, "It's not because of thecircumstances or the audience--it's because of me." I asked, "Why do youwant to repeat only what Srila Prabhupada said, not what any other acaryahas said?" And she replied, "Because Srila Prabhupada is more merciful."
Then she told a story that she had heard. You were giving a talk in whichyou said that in order to go back home, back to Godhead, one must be centpercent pure, cent percent free of material desires and attachments. Whenyou saw that the devotees were discouraged, you said, "All right, 90%."Still they were dejected. Then you said, "All right, 80%." Still they werecrestfallen. Then you said, "All right, 75%--but not less."
After the talk, you commented, "If you just hold on to my lotus feet, I willtake you back to Godhead. I have the key to the back door."
Mother Narayani continued, "Actually, my only qualification to speak or todo anything is my faith in Srila Prabhupada. I feel that we are not soqualified to go in the front door, so our only hope is to strictly followSrila Prabhupada, because he can recommend us to Srimati Radharani and LordKrsna and open the door for us to enter the spiritual world."
We, your followers, have already received your mercy, and we are in aposition to receive even more. We just have to follow your instructions.Once, I heard that you had said, "Your qualification is that I give aninstruction . . ." I thought the rest of the sentence would be "and youfollow it," but the statement was "Your qualification is that I give you aninstruction and you try to follow it." Not even that we follow it--just thatwe try to follow it.
(Of course, we must try sincerely and seriously, by all means, with all ofour energy and resources, to follow.)
In our japa retreats we emphasize chanting with attention, without offense.We encourage devotees to pronounce each syllable distinctly and hear eachsyllable attentively. To chant inattentively is an offense. So, I thought ofmy initiation letter--you sent it to me in Boston from Los Angeles--in whichyou instructed me to avoid the ten offenses. And I thought, "Oh, my God,that was practically the first instruction I got from Srila Prabhupada--theone I got when I was initiated--and now, forty years later, I still haven'tbeen able to follow it, which is another offense: to disobey the orders ofthe spiritual master." So I thought, "I am just drowning in offenses." Andthen I thought, "I better reread that letter, to try to get some strengthand inspiration." I reread it, and there was the instruction: "You shouldavoid the ten offenses as far as possible." You were so merciful--you knewthat I couldn't avoid them completely. So you saved me from the offense ofdisobeying your order, by writing "as far as possible."
So that is our qualification, according to you. And that is our hope. If wesincerely try to follow your instructions strictly--if we just hold on toyour lotus feet--you will do the rest. You will take us back home, back toGodhead.
And then? As you wrote, "We will have another ISKCON in the spiritual sky."And what will we do there? We will engage in the same activities that yougave us here--chanting, dancing, feasting, and discussion of Krsna. As yousaid, "The aim of this Krsna consciousness movement is to enable us toapproach Radha-Krsna and associate with the Supreme Lord in His sublimepleasure dance . . . to enter into the dancing party of Radha-Krsna." And ifwe are not completely successful in the present lifetime? You wrote, "It istrue that the spiritual master remains in the material universe until all ofhis disciples are transferred to the spiritual sky. . . . Therefore, everystudent should be very much careful not to commit any offense that will bedetrimental to this promotion to the spiritual kingdom, and thereby thespiritual master has to incarnate again to deliver him. This sort ofmentality will be a kind of offense to the spiritual master. Out of the tenkinds of offenses, the number-one offense is to disobey the orders of thespiritual master. The instructions given to the disciple by the spiritualmaster at the time of initiation should be strictly followed. That will makeone advance to the spiritual path."
Srila Prabhupada, I do not want you to have to come back to deliver me, orany of us. I will try my best to follow your instructions, withoutoffense--and depend on your causeless mercy.
Hare Krsna.
Your fallen, eternal servant,Giriraj Swami
